Location: India
Camera info: Canon Rebel 350D • lens 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6
ISO 400 • f 6.3 • 1/100 sec

What impression of this woman do you get from the picture? Is she tired? Lonely? Deep in thought? Does she have friends or family nearby she's waiting on? Now go a little deeper... what's her name? What's her home life like? Does she believe in God? What does she do for a living? What are her dreams?

This leaves a lot up to the imagination, doesn't it? If you assume she is homeless or a beggar, it's easy to believe her family could be dysfunctional. What if you assumed she was just tired, worn out from a long day at the market with her friends and needing to rest her feet? Her life would seem joyful and exciting. What if you believed she was praying? Would you see her as a woman of faith? Any of these could be true.

Now think about the people you meet every day. What assumptions do you make about them? We often get partial information about people - we know their names, jobs, or families - but how often do we dig deeper? Do we really see what motivates those around us? Or do we make our conclusions based on what we've seen, coupled with the reasons we make up?

Ninety-nine percent of conflicts are the result of mismatched expectations. Often, we expect people to react to life based on the unconscious assumptions we make about them, whether they are close to the truth or far from it. So it's wise to continually re-evaluate our opinions of others. Let them tell their story. Let them share their dreams & passions. Maybe you'll see them from a different perspective.

When was the last time you made an assumption about someone and were proved wrong?

Do you have any hidden talents? What about a skill you never thought would be useful? I discovered one of those on a building trip to Mexico. I had started my journey thinking I would spend most of my time taking pictures, and helping with painting & nailing boards (the easy stuff), or roofing & electrical (things I had done before). Sure, I did all those things, but one of our team leaders had another idea.

"Hey, you two girls are probably the lightest," our leader remarked. He pulled a couple of us from our work nailing boards and led us over to the freshly-poured cement still in the frame. "We need people to smooth this out before it dries, which will be really fast in this heat." So that's what we did. They had us balance on our hands and knees on flat metal pieces (to spread out our weight over a larger area), and we ran trowels over the cement to take out all the rocks and bubbles.

I know I'm a bit of a perfectionist, as well as an artist, but I never thought that would apply to making cement look pretty! :) They apparently thought I did a really good job at it, because later they put me in charge of smoothing the stucco on the walls as well. I guess there is something to be said for using your skills and talents to the best of your ability, no matter what!

What random skill do you have that you never thought could be useful? Have you done anything with it?

Perspective is a strange thing. Also, a very dividing thing. But sometimes I think we give it more credit than it deserves. Other times we simply under estimate its influence. Sometimes we agree to disagree, sometimes we can find common ground. I don't mean to make deep-rooted and painful issues trivial, but I do want to share an anecdote and hopefully a smile. 

I walked into an elevator on the first floor of an educational facility in Washington, DC.

On the right hand wall of the elevator was an advertisement for the "Jewish Law Students Society Luncheon." On the left hand side of the elevator was another advertisement for "Law Students Supporting Peace in Palestine Luncheon." 

The rooms for both? 

Different

The menu for both?

Falafel

For anyone who has traveled to Europe, you remember the elegant, venerable buildings. The tranquil countryside, or perhaps the sidewalk cafe's, settled into your heart as a little corner of heaven experienced on earth. But between Europe and the USA, as closely related as we are, there are significant cultural differences. Today I was reminded of one of the greatest differences; our work ethics, and how the recession might be changing them.

In America, the protestant work ethic is a significant influence, though not the only influence. Immigrants and children listening to their parents stories know that in America, rags to riches is really possible, but it's not meant to be easy. Statements like "if you just work hard, you will get everything you want" are rooted in that history and mature in modern professional motivation. A spirit of competition is infused into many American work places and the recession has intensified it.

In Europe, vestiges of the siesta and afternoon tea, hearken days of long chats and social extravaganzas. Even if you are at work longer, but only actually working for 6 hours, that is usually part of building relationships with colleagues and customers. And if every employee in the pet shop just sat down for coffee break, even though you wanted to checkout... no worries, just take a minute and share a cup of coffee with them! The recession has very much hurt Europe, too. Some leaders question whether the governments can sustain the costs of supporting or paying for weeks of vacations for European employees.

To be sure, there are many negatives and positives on both sides. But a fundamental principle to most employees and employers on both sides of the ocean is stick to your values and beliefs. So, if you value money, make wealth. If you value relationships, keep them strong, if you value balance, make that your mantra. It's hard. But, I think my European cousin placed this dilemma best when she said;

"You know, sometimes it's so difficult to fit work into my social life! But how to have a social life without any money?"

Whatever value chosen, we have only finite time, and there are other things foregone. But, the power to choose is ours alone.

T.J. Creamer

Sohaib Athar

Derwent Capital

Mark Luckie

Who are they and what is the common thread?

Each of these people did  a very ancient thing: Communicate. But did so using an innovative medium: Twitter.

Creamer tweeted @ the "twitterverse" from space. Although in ignorance of the fact, Athar was the first to report the Abbottabad raid that killed Bin Laden. Derwent capital is trying to predict stock, and Luckie found a job.

Before you decide that I am simply trying to preach the blue bird into your already hectic life, rest assured, I am not. Today is not about how you should sign up for Twitter. It is about the creativity to do an every day thing in an innovative way.

Life is exciting. Too often we let everyday commitments and obligations take the fun away from even the things we used to love. So, to keep the message simple and sweet... invest some of your energy into taking one mundane routine and spicing up the process with something innovative!

To read more about how the people above did it, see these links...

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13577_3-10439573-36.html

http://eu.techcrunch.com/2011/05/02/heres-the-guy-who-unwittingly-live-tweeted-the-raid-on-bin-laden/

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/business/2011/08/how-twitter-based-hedge-fund-beat-stock-market/41389/

http://www.mediabistro.com/10000words/how-twitter-saved-my-career-and-my-life_b356

In a remote parking lot not long ago, I heard the last half of a conversation about a new mutual acquaintance...

Kim: Well, I met a woman 2 weeks ago and I think she might be a good connection for you.

Mo: Who are you talking about?

Kim: Shona, she has the experience, both here and internationally and her educational track will be helpful as well. In fact, I think you met her already!

Mo: I did??

Kim: Yes, 2 weeks ago, we were talking to her at the luncheon for about half an hour, remember?

Mo: When? What luncheon?

Kim: Two weeks ago, at the seminar on human rights.

Mo: Really? I don't remember...

Kim: The one at our table, the african woman.

Mo: Oh!! Yes, I remember.....

Before I continue let me disabuse you of the notion that this entry is about racism. It's not. This time, I wanted to write about identity. About the way we identify people. About the way we identify each other.

The above conversation illustrates one common approach. The initial speaker, Kim, tried to convey the identity of a person by her talents first and their possible benefit or connection to Mo's needs. Secondly, Kim stated the woman's name and continued to illustrate her talents and qualities. Finally, Kim identified her by race.

Mo could not recall the individual by talents, qualifications or name. Only Shona's race triggered Mo's memory of who Shona is.

So, who is Shona?? I suppose it depends to whom you talk. There are some places in the world today where a person is recognized by their name, and that name may be inherently attached to the character of their person. Some cultures and societies answer who a person is by where they are from or what they do. Sometimes we identify them in relation to their significant other, orientation or ethnicity. I am not an author who is in a place to say whether an approach is "wrong" or "better" than another. However, I really challenge readers to think hard about HOW and WHY we use identity to relate to people and how much our presumptions and assumptions affect our relationship (or lack thereof) with them.

Because, even a name comes with certain presumed identities. For example, consider the conversation above... Kim is the most common name on planet earth. Depending where you are from, Kim may be female or male, Korean, American or South African. Mo could be a nickname or real name, elderly man or teenage girl. Maybe you think you can tell by the way they spoke? The words they used? 

Which identity did you give them?

Either you had in your mind an image about the characters in the conversation, or maybe you read the whole blog with one of a few questions in your mind the entire time... "Who is Kim, and who is Mo?" Well, all names and circumstances are changed to give anonymity to all characters. So, forget Kim and Mo, it does not matter who they are. Instead, start thinking about your friends and acquaintances. Who are they? Who do you think they are? How do you identify them? How do you identify with them? How do you identify them to other people? 

....Would they identify themselves the way you do?

One final thought: Every new person I have met self-identifies with a name... and a smile.